The 3 years and the creation of the next chapter

Today's my 3 year anniversary with NetApp.  A lot of changes, disappointments, growth, and regrets.

In the last three years, I've read the most number of books that I have ever read; I've run the most miles that I've ever run; I've overcame the most fear and resistance at the time when nothing's promising;  I've completely accepted myself, physically and mentally for whoever I am for the 1st time; I've tried to grow and find my calling, purpose...

I want to create the next chapter for me.  A chapter to move towards my calling, to remove all the fresh baggage, come clean and high.

I have a year to change.  If next year is my last year with NetApp, will I work differently?

Timeline for 2019 annual plan:

• Oct, 2017 -- Draft of 2018 plan.  House cleaning 1/2.
• Nov, 2017 -- Discuss plan with Yong and the family.  House cleaning 2/2.
• Dec, 2017 -- Final 2018 plan

Physical

1. 3 meals, and no excessive snacks.
2. 25 miles per week; 3 half-marathon
3. 9-5, and 5-9 ritual
   

Work

1. The calling - structure my thoughts for the next chapter
2. Target 50 Adventure in Operation blogs on various topics -- be patient, be an effective learner and creator -- make my blogs the next master piece of your showcase (report, structure, slides, org thoughts)

Spiritual

1.  Truly study the words of God, not to skim through the bible, take notes, and use weekly fellowship as the forcing function
   

Mental

1. Mental toughness

Family

1. Yong
2. Josh
3. Emma

Extended Family

1.  Trips to China and Vancouver

 Relationship

1.  Build deep relationship

True Grit

True Grit - Angela Lee Duckworth https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrkwrHSfsMY Knowledge in the library is free, but you have to bring your own container. Four Characteristcs of deliberate practice: 1. Training for specific goal 2. Challenge exceeding skills 3, Immediate feedback 4. Repetition, repetition, and repetition - mastery if not perfection before you move on to learn any new skills - practically do it without any conscious effort. An average of 10 years of training to be a pro

Change

Quite some changes unanticipated at work, and I know it is going to impact my future direction.

Other than gracefully accept it, I do not have other choices.

I know the only freedom that I have through my entire life is to be happy at any given moment. With that, I can perform near my own capability.

What is success? Success is I know best conditioned myself in any circumstances and be true to myself.

What is failure? Failure is knowing that I did not do what I should have done when I had the opportunity.

God, give me wisdom and I pray for your guidance each and every single day.

Awaken the spirit

I gradually realized that the biggest challenge I am facing now is not the tough work environment at all.

It is ME, and I learned many things about myself. Cisco and my awesome colleagues, awakened in me my calling, and I realized that solution program managing is another form of teaching, and teaching is something I love to do and at which I excel. Without this company and its amazing people I would have never had the opportunity to go down this path, and never found the capability that is built within me.

This is the essence of spiritual growth.

Quiet or Shut up

Been told to shut up in the meeting, how do you feel?

I am not upsetting at all. I am not sure if that's because I am getting used to it, or it is because I am really Okay with the fact that I constantly either been quiet or got cutoff by different folks recently.

Pray for guidance everyday, let me focus on what I can control, and at the end of the day, I will be very happy to say, no matter what, I have given all I have and I did tried my best.

What is failure? Failure is that knowing you did not prepare yourself well when you have the opportunity. John Wooden.

I pray for wisdom and guidance. If I do not know what the future leads, I shall be patient, there is a gift for every event in my life, it takes time to unwrap the gift box especially when facing difficulties, challenges...

To Drake

Drake,

I should have replied to your notes 10 years back. I never did.

I always want to tell you that you were the one who protected me during my hardest time, the one who gave me encouragement and support.

Drake, I will be brave and be the best I can be, I will not try to be someone else, and when I look up, I know you are up there.

I want to talk to you, and I want to get connected with you. Let's find our ways.

2 Years Later

2 years later, I am here again.

This is to Drake, my dearest friend in heaven.

In today's meeting, I have kept thinking about you, and I could not get rid of your smile and your notes. I know the road is becoming so rough to me, and I feel like being alone.

I felt so safe sitting in a police car with you, driving in the middle of the night at Chicago, you were God's angle to me.

10+ years, do you still remember me? Are you still the happiest person that I know of?

Drake, here I am, wishing to talk to you in earnest.